How do you get your thoughts and feeling across to someone that's not in front of you, someone that can't be in front of you?
Sometimes you just need to be able to get out the feelings that you have bottled up inside, but often, I am unable to do such. With three children it's hard to have a safe place to vent. I mean, what is the point of attempting to get out your thoughts and feelings if you freak your children out!?
Sometimes you just feel the need, but what do you do? It's not as effective to type it out in a blog, nor to write it out on paper. Maybe I can go downtown where people are always yelling and screaming and scream at the top of my lungs, and I can fit in... No one to call the cops?
IT IS HARD to be married to someone that's half a world away. IT IS HARD to be a 'single' parent. IT IS HARD to try and make your spouse that is half a world away to feel like they are still vital part of the family. IT IS HARD to parent three children while they each take their turn, and sometimes all at the same time, act out to express their displeasure that daddy isn't home.
BUT isn't it hard for daddy to be away from his children, his wife?
Sometimes we, the spouses become so frustrated and upset with the military career that our spouse has chosen, and in our frustrated/angry state we forget that little nuggets of information. Our spouse does this for us, for our family, so that we can have all the little and big things that we need, clothing, food, shelter.
US Navy veteran married to a Machinist's Mate. Has three wonderful yet exasperating children. The Machinist is in Agana, Guam because the Navy said so. The Command Passageway is in effect.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Just can't find what I want
I'm not sure what it is, so maybe that's why I can't find it! Chocolate... nope. Sleep... nope. Online FB game... nope. Good TV show... nope. I just can't find what on earth it is that I want.
I'm tired and I just plain don't feel like sleepingI feel like everything that's on TV, I've watched or I don't have interest.
I'm not hungry either. I'm not thirsty. I'm not comfortable.
This has to be the oddest blog post that I've ever posted!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Can I get deep for a minute?
Well of course I can, it's my blog, and what is the purpose of a blog if not to express what I want when I want?! I have great friends. I prefer my smaller circle of friends that I think of like family over having a big group of people that are only there to watch me when I stumble in life. The caliber of my friends is better than the average person. We prop each other up, we offer a hand when we can and we do it all because we value each other. Not out of some perverted sense that we are better than each other for one reason or another, or because we expect our assistance to ever be paid back. We may not leave our mark on the world for the History books, but we leave a mark on each other. The marks that really count. And should our friendships drift apart for one reason or another, years later we can look back and remember with a bittersweet fondness how close we once were and how happy it made us to stick together, how strong it made us to overcome obstacles together.
This has always been my go-to song when I'm 'getting deep' about my friends. Joe Cocker's With a Litle Help From My Friends. It should be noted that I obtained this video from YouTube.
This has always been my go-to song when I'm 'getting deep' about my friends. Joe Cocker's With a Litle Help From My Friends. It should be noted that I obtained this video from YouTube.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
The Importance of Memorial Day to OUR Family
As an important date in my family looms close, some of you know it as Memorial Day, but for my family, it is so much more.
It is the day that my grandfather, SFC George William Harris was Killed in Action in the Bihn Lang Providence of VietNam on an operation called BlackJack 21. He was only 32 years old, made even more sad for me since I am now almost 2 years older than he was. He was the First Sergeant of the Special Forces Group, commonly called the Green Berets, out of Fayetteville, North Carolina's Fort Bragg. It was his 3rd tour, despite being 'flat footed' he volunteered to return. He saved someone's life, while sacrificing his own, and posthumously recieved the Purple Heart with Oak Leaf Cluster, as well as the Silver Star.
My grandfather was survived by his wife and his 4 adoptive children, one of which was my mother Raebecca, who passed in April of 2002, she was only 8 years old at the time. She used to tell me how she and her sister "Ruthie" were playing Babies on the front porch when the CACO Officer's arrived. You see, to this day Fayetteville as a nickname... Fayettenam because so many soldiers were lost from there. My poor 8 year old mother, KNEW what those men had come to do, to tell her mother, that he daddy was never coming home again; she tried to send them next door to Mrs. Rosetta's house. But the inevitable could not be avoided, he had passed leaving Rusty, Ruthie, Tom, and Raebecca without a daddy. To live their lives remembering scooter rides to get ice creams.
Some may ask, how could I feel so sad about someone I never met? They have just answered their own question. How can you not miss, nay lament never meeting someone that is regaled to you in stories all you life, that he was this great and awesome man who loved deeply, played with his children, yet also ensured they learned the lessons they needed to make a successful and productive member of our society.
As always, my thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of everyone that has lost their beloved sailor, marine or soldier to war and to the member themselves, may the rest in eternal peace. Fair winds & following seas my fellow service men and women, you will never be forgotten, family or not.
So as you fire up your BBQ, open your beers, mix your drinks, or drink your water this Memorial Day weekend, remember those who came before you and fought for all that you hold near and dear, regardless of your country of origin, a death to protect ones country is an honorable thing and should be revered each day.
Every year I listen to this song as the day approaches. There is not only Memorial Day, a time to remember all of our deceased military members, but it is also the anniversary of when the dynamic of my family changed against the wishes of all concerned. I find Elton John's Daniel to be fitting. A song rumored to be written for the returning VietNam veteran, who just wanted to go back home and continue his life. I say rumored, because though the story, with some very slight variations, is found on SEVERAL webpages, I have never seen it confirmed by Sir Elton John himself.
"The lyrics were written by Bernie Taupin, Elton's writing partner. When Elton wrote the music for it, he chopped off the last verse because he thought the song was already too long. This completely changed the meaning of the song, as the deleted verse explained that "Daniel" was a Vietnam Vet who returned home to the farm after the war, couldn't find peace, and decided to leave America and go to Spain. With the last verse chopped off, it became a fairly vague story of two brothers who part ways." Songfacts
It is the day that my grandfather, SFC George William Harris was Killed in Action in the Bihn Lang Providence of VietNam on an operation called BlackJack 21. He was only 32 years old, made even more sad for me since I am now almost 2 years older than he was. He was the First Sergeant of the Special Forces Group, commonly called the Green Berets, out of Fayetteville, North Carolina's Fort Bragg. It was his 3rd tour, despite being 'flat footed' he volunteered to return. He saved someone's life, while sacrificing his own, and posthumously recieved the Purple Heart with Oak Leaf Cluster, as well as the Silver Star.
My grandfather was survived by his wife and his 4 adoptive children, one of which was my mother Raebecca, who passed in April of 2002, she was only 8 years old at the time. She used to tell me how she and her sister "Ruthie" were playing Babies on the front porch when the CACO Officer's arrived. You see, to this day Fayetteville as a nickname... Fayettenam because so many soldiers were lost from there. My poor 8 year old mother, KNEW what those men had come to do, to tell her mother, that he daddy was never coming home again; she tried to send them next door to Mrs. Rosetta's house. But the inevitable could not be avoided, he had passed leaving Rusty, Ruthie, Tom, and Raebecca without a daddy. To live their lives remembering scooter rides to get ice creams.
Some may ask, how could I feel so sad about someone I never met? They have just answered their own question. How can you not miss, nay lament never meeting someone that is regaled to you in stories all you life, that he was this great and awesome man who loved deeply, played with his children, yet also ensured they learned the lessons they needed to make a successful and productive member of our society.
As always, my thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of everyone that has lost their beloved sailor, marine or soldier to war and to the member themselves, may the rest in eternal peace. Fair winds & following seas my fellow service men and women, you will never be forgotten, family or not.
So as you fire up your BBQ, open your beers, mix your drinks, or drink your water this Memorial Day weekend, remember those who came before you and fought for all that you hold near and dear, regardless of your country of origin, a death to protect ones country is an honorable thing and should be revered each day.
Every year I listen to this song as the day approaches. There is not only Memorial Day, a time to remember all of our deceased military members, but it is also the anniversary of when the dynamic of my family changed against the wishes of all concerned. I find Elton John's Daniel to be fitting. A song rumored to be written for the returning VietNam veteran, who just wanted to go back home and continue his life. I say rumored, because though the story, with some very slight variations, is found on SEVERAL webpages, I have never seen it confirmed by Sir Elton John himself.
"The lyrics were written by Bernie Taupin, Elton's writing partner. When Elton wrote the music for it, he chopped off the last verse because he thought the song was already too long. This completely changed the meaning of the song, as the deleted verse explained that "Daniel" was a Vietnam Vet who returned home to the farm after the war, couldn't find peace, and decided to leave America and go to Spain. With the last verse chopped off, it became a fairly vague story of two brothers who part ways." Songfacts
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Trip to ShopRite
ShopRite had a two sales for me today...
Pampers Baby Wipes & Kellogg's new cereal, KrAVe.
From coupons.com I printed $0.70/1 Krave and $0.75/1 Pampers wipes 60+ count. All these items were on sale for $1.99 each, so I spent $4.44 for 4 boxes of cereal and 2 pkgs of wipes!
Happy Couponing!
Sunday, April 8, 2012
YAY! For Easter Surprises!
I'm SO happy! Easter was well for this little family.
The kids enjoyed their baskets, but best of all... Husband was able to finally get on Skype. The connection was horrid, but it was so great to see his face, to hear his voice and to see how happy the kids were to talk to him.
The even better news? The ship has left Malaysia, which means they are all that much closer to making it back to Guam. Who knows if there will be more stops along the way, or how long it will take them to get there, but the only thing that can be said for sure, each day that passes is one day closer to being back.
The kids enjoyed their baskets, but best of all... Husband was able to finally get on Skype. The connection was horrid, but it was so great to see his face, to hear his voice and to see how happy the kids were to talk to him.
The even better news? The ship has left Malaysia, which means they are all that much closer to making it back to Guam. Who knows if there will be more stops along the way, or how long it will take them to get there, but the only thing that can be said for sure, each day that passes is one day closer to being back.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Is The Claim Right?
IS the hardest job in the Navy, what of the spouse?
I know it's hard. Sometimes it feels impossible, sometimes it feels like your world is ending.
The baby is having such a hard time with missing her daddy. How many times can I tell her that daddy isn't here right now, work took daddy far away and he won't be back for a long time? It breaks my heart every day to watch my babies miss their daddy so much.
Sometimes I dream at night of my husband, and wake up crying because I miss him SO DAMN MUCH! Sometimes my heart feels like it breaking, just being away from him for so long. With the time difference I hardly get to talk to him, and when he's out to sea... forget it!
The dreams I have... not just about missing my husband, but the ones where I dream that he's fallen overboard, or that something happened in the Engine Room and he's been injured or killed. THOSE are the worst. But then I think... what must if be like for him? He doesn't see us either. He doesn't get to talk to us either. And he can't pick up the phone and call his mom, like I can. He can't decide to take a week off and go visit family, or go camping. It costs over $2,000 to fly from Guam to where we live, and vice versa. What military family can afford to fly 4 out there? How must it feel to be told you can't take leave when you want, so that we only have to find the money for him to fly here and back?
I think my job, as a Navy Wife, is DAMN HARD, but my husbands job, that of the Active Duty member... It is definitely harder.
I know it's hard. Sometimes it feels impossible, sometimes it feels like your world is ending.
The baby is having such a hard time with missing her daddy. How many times can I tell her that daddy isn't here right now, work took daddy far away and he won't be back for a long time? It breaks my heart every day to watch my babies miss their daddy so much.
Sometimes I dream at night of my husband, and wake up crying because I miss him SO DAMN MUCH! Sometimes my heart feels like it breaking, just being away from him for so long. With the time difference I hardly get to talk to him, and when he's out to sea... forget it!
The dreams I have... not just about missing my husband, but the ones where I dream that he's fallen overboard, or that something happened in the Engine Room and he's been injured or killed. THOSE are the worst. But then I think... what must if be like for him? He doesn't see us either. He doesn't get to talk to us either. And he can't pick up the phone and call his mom, like I can. He can't decide to take a week off and go visit family, or go camping. It costs over $2,000 to fly from Guam to where we live, and vice versa. What military family can afford to fly 4 out there? How must it feel to be told you can't take leave when you want, so that we only have to find the money for him to fly here and back?
I think my job, as a Navy Wife, is DAMN HARD, but my husbands job, that of the Active Duty member... It is definitely harder.
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