Thursday, November 24, 2011


Today is Thanksgiving. I am thankful for everyone in my life that I love, who loves me back.

Sometimes people just crush my good mood. I didn't even have to try to be happy today. I had fun eating turkey and all kinds of wonderful side dishes prepared by the mom of a good friend. There was squash, cranberry stuffing, broccoli, California mixed veggies, German cheesecake, pumpkin pie, apple strudel cake, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and much more! We watched part of the Macy's Thanksgiving parade, then the kids picked a couple movies and finally the piece de resistance! Old School Miracle on 34th Street!

Since it was getting dark and the turkey coma was starting to hit me, I made the drive home.

Everyone got to talk to the Machinist on Skype, it was good, but he was upset about missing items from his shipment that finally arrived.

Then it happened, he called back to talk to me, and rather than it being some sweet or romantic, I love you, I miss you. It was almost a chastization. Yep! I just made a new word! And now I feel like a got stomped on. When is the next time I will hear him tell me that he loves me? Will he tell me ever again?

The doubt starts to kick in... Was the comment that I made REALLY that bad. Have I really done something so horrible that I deserve all this doubt? I feel the tears begin to well up. There is nothing I can do, but keep showing him that I love him more than I can ever express.

I'm so very thankful for my friends that listen to me when I feel like this. I'm thankful for this blog, because I can write to my hearts content, I can vent, yell, shout and cry and there's no one there to say, what the **** is wrong with you? or what's your ****ing problem?

I can just put the kids to bed, and then lay in bed and watch TV. Up now, 'Big Bang Theory' followed by some DVR. Goodnight all!

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